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belly
I had a singular but glorious conversation recently. I regret it was not longer. In this conversation, two mantras were presented to me. There was not…
Jan 23
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Jana Buhlmann
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belly
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August 2023
some words about sinead
I am actually not sure where to begin . . . Perhaps she is no more than a famous death to you, but I am starting to realize that my thoughts and…
Aug 4, 2023
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Jana Buhlmann
2
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some words about sinead
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June 2023
spoon
I was born, into a spoon. The bowl holds my name. I was spooned by a man, as he let go his body. Gender and choice mean I dollop myself. I am supposed…
Jun 25, 2023
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Jana Buhlmann
2
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spoon
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i carry a father
You bore me into your absence. At 52, I see you as clearly as one might. The oldest son of an abusive, alcoholic father. You carry his name, and his…
Jun 18, 2023
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Jana Buhlmann
1
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i carry a father
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April 2023
my lover is going on a pilgrimage
I met a man whose North Star had just extinguished. It shone brightly for decades, guiding him as close to self as a star might provide. This man, he…
Apr 5, 2023
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Jana Buhlmann
6
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my lover is going on a pilgrimage
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March 2023
table for one, please
I have been so blessed by my intimate relationships. Married twice. Grieved both divorce and death. Partners that became better friends. One that became…
Mar 3, 2023
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Jana Buhlmann
2
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table for one, please
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February 2023
the carry
This photo recently appeared in my social media memories. Next year will mark a decade since I first dared step in front of a professional photographer…
Feb 28, 2023
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Jana Buhlmann
5
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the carry
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we don't talk about it
We have forgotten the language of death. It is a sublanguage really, for death is not separate from life. But we have forgotten that too, in our efforts…
Feb 12, 2023
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Jana Buhlmann
4
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we don't talk about it
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January 2023
core(d)
Have you seen my parents? I can’t find them anywhere. In my sixth decade and if I stand still I am immediately returned. A feeling. That my family is…
Jan 3, 2023
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Jana Buhlmann
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core(d)
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December 2022
two pairs of feet hang over the nest
You will excuse me if I am entirely unavailable. So many times, I have written about the dull roar. It has become a mantra to me. My only child was…
Dec 2, 2022
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Jana Buhlmann
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two pairs of feet hang over the nest
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November 2022
What's done is . . .
… done. Earlier this week my shy, teenage, eight month old pup joined me in the perfect storm. She spooked and lunged. I tripped and weighted. And when…
Nov 27, 2022
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Jana Buhlmann
3
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What's done is . . .
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October 2022
my favourite book
I’m in my mid-twenties - in the thick of grad school - and I am reading for pleasure. For me, a book brings pleasure if it is intense and I lose myself…
Oct 24, 2022
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Jana Buhlmann
1
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my favourite book
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